Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Am I Turning Into the Lenny Bruce of Bad Medical Humor

(Note: Except for the 2 photos of me with the umbrella taken by Niki Conolly, these are self-portraits taken with a little Canon Power Shot SD850 IS Digital Elph)

(It's Not the Pale Moon that Excites Me) Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP) is a bleeding condition in which the blood doesn't clot as it should. This is due to a low number of blood cells called platelets. Most people, to be considered healthy have between 150,000 and 300,000 in their body at any one time. When I was admitted to the emergency room I had less than 2000. Whoops! (My Funny Valentine)

(In time the Rockies may crumble...) Platelets are also called thrombocytes, and they're made in bone marrow (along with other kinds of blood cells). Platelets circulate through the blood vessels and help stop bleeding by sticking together (clotting) to seal small cuts or breaks. (The radio and the telephone.........)

(Our love is here to stay) Idiopathic means that the cause of the disease or condition isn't known; sort of like how did George W Bush ever get elected? The answer to that question is Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura. Thrombocytopenic means there is a lower-than-normal number of platelets in the blood. Purpura are purple bruises caused by bleeding under the skin. More extensive bleeding can create a three-dimensional mass called a hematoma. (When you're in my arms)

(So make your mark.....) I have ITP and purple bruises appeared on the skin and the mucous membranes (for example, in the mouth). The bruises mean that bleeding has occurred in small blood vessels under the skin. I may have bleeding that results in tiny red or purple dots on the skin. These dots, often seen on the lower legs, are called petechiae; cute little name. Petechiae may look like a rash, but don't be fooled by that. (When you hear a call.........)

(Play with fire.....) I could've had nosebleeds, bleeding from the gums if I had dental work done, or other bleeding that's hard to stop. Bleeding in the brain as a result of ITP is very rare, but can be life threatening if it occurs. (Build your dreams)

In most cases, the body's immune system is thought to cause ITP. Normally your immune system helps your body fight off infections and diseases, but if you have ITP, your immune system attacks and destroys its own platelets—for an unknown reason. So, for any of you out there who believes in "intelligent design" this should put an end to that foolishness. Half of my body was killing off the other half. Now, that's really an intelligent design! (Untitled)

This could be acute generally lasts less than 6 months or chronic, lasting 6 months or longer. ITP doesnt have to be a serious or life-threatening condition, but the body doesnt necessarily know that, of course, being so stupidly designed that it would kill off half itself, I wouldnt be surprised about anything at this point, but that's too depressing and I'm not committed to a life-long depression. Some of the forms of treatment are bizarre. One of the shots I get once a week costs $1000 each! I get these steroids 4 days on, 4 days off that seem to do the trick. Now I'm on my way to San Francisco this coming Monday for more follow up.