I'm unbelievably sad today. I dont know why. I feel cold in my body. Shaking inside. It's like I'm gripped with sadness. Like a hand of sadness is around my throat squeezing it. I just want to cry but I wont let myself. I cant even work on photos. I cant look at them or think about them; nothing new at least. I put up three new ones but they're months old at a time I was in the hospital. The flowers were from Nico. Maybe it's the drug I'm on, and I'm trying to get off it, and I'm having a bad time with it today (clonazepam) I dont know........this is my essay contribution for the day. I'm done for now.
Then I slapped myself in the face once or twice and got a nose bleed. Then I said, shape up you twisted whimp and pull yourself together. So I did. Now I'm righteously pissed off at the world and I'm ready to slam some more photos, really ugly photos, photos of people dying in hospitals and crossing streets and people looking out for themselves. I cant wait to put 'em up for all to see.
Then I slapped myself in the face once or twice and got a nose bleed. Then I said, shape up you twisted whimp and pull yourself together. So I did. Now I'm righteously pissed off at the world and I'm ready to slam some more photos, really ugly photos, photos of people dying in hospitals and crossing streets and people looking out for themselves. I cant wait to put 'em up for all to see.
