I'm finally beginning to get Nietzsche: it's as if he was standing next to me in that blackness, Click Here for Photo in that space photographed around me; as if Nietzsche's mind is able to be photographed as space, as darkness, as black space surrounding the mind of those with whom he's having conversations. There's a conversation going on between Nietzsche and me right at that moment I snapped this photo; more like a dialog with me doing the listening and Nietzsche doing the talking. I can see him standing next to me, right behind me to my left talking into my left ear and if you look into that space you'll see it, too.... He's talking to me about self-hatred as the highest form of power, will and strength there is; because "self" is the will itself. He's saying self-hatred is an illusion and as a false conflict with something "bad", like a con game (ambiguity) it originates from the suppressive religious icon of evil competing with "self" for its share of god-worship as another form of a con. There's more to come .....and I'll write it up and publishes it as a photo essay shortly. So I wrote the ending first.
This was the beginning of a study of my experience with physical pain, the development of turning anger into a form of self-hatred and depression, but then eventually letting self-hatred express itself as a positive and powerful force for creativity. By accepting what-was, what-is, what's-so and what's-possible within the limitations and insecurities of physical and psychological uncertainities, I'm able to acknowledge new relationships, new forms of communication and new conversations with new language between me and my environment, both internal and external. This generates, as in causing, a fresh relatedness with life itself that I can photograph from new perspectives. Some of it is filled with emotion, some of it with no emotion at all; some of it is clear, other parts of it is unfolding, or even closing up. (Me and the Darkness)
(The Wall of Jazz) Pain and the loss of power and choice went out through the top of my head out the top and out my ears through my pores in my skin out through my fingernails and the wrinkles in my hands and the lines on my face the dark circles under my eyes the black marks around the edges of my face the jaw, the teeth, gums, my tongue and salvia and all the power over who I am, who I was being, or able to be and who I wanted to be, or thought I could be as being, or to be this or that. I thought it had to do with identity of personality as with a photograph, but that wasn't it and never was it, not even a mirror, not even a picture, not even an image, not even an expression of someone or something I thought I knew; but didn't. (A Black Boot)
(North Beach Hotel) Power = self vitality and strength. Performance. Determination. Choice and choices. Struggle-struggling, fighting-attraction, physical-attractiveness. Physical counter-balance, physical difficulty. Intrigue and ability. (The Ring Belongs To Her)
(Waiting for the Cops) This is power to me: The will to life, to live to survive the will. To over-come the will, over-whelm the will. To charm the will, to enlist the will to invite and recruit the will. To elect the will to expand the will. To increase to grow and manipulate the will. To emanate the will by expanding the will to build: to capture, dominate, defeat and conquer the will. To reclaim the will to speak language. To generate, to buy, to own, read and write about the will to produce to fail. To succeed to disbelieve the will. To live to eat to die. To love the will to come and to go. The power of the will to be born to endure. Power to confront the will. Power is everything Christianity is not. Power as the enemy of Christianity. (Hand at Rest)
This was the beginning of a study of my experience with physical pain, the development of turning anger into a form of self-hatred and depression, but then eventually letting self-hatred express itself as a positive and powerful force for creativity. By accepting what-was, what-is, what's-so and what's-possible within the limitations and insecurities of physical and psychological uncertainities, I'm able to acknowledge new relationships, new forms of communication and new conversations with new language between me and my environment, both internal and external. This generates, as in causing, a fresh relatedness with life itself that I can photograph from new perspectives. Some of it is filled with emotion, some of it with no emotion at all; some of it is clear, other parts of it is unfolding, or even closing up. (Me and the Darkness)
(The Wall of Jazz) Pain and the loss of power and choice went out through the top of my head out the top and out my ears through my pores in my skin out through my fingernails and the wrinkles in my hands and the lines on my face the dark circles under my eyes the black marks around the edges of my face the jaw, the teeth, gums, my tongue and salvia and all the power over who I am, who I was being, or able to be and who I wanted to be, or thought I could be as being, or to be this or that. I thought it had to do with identity of personality as with a photograph, but that wasn't it and never was it, not even a mirror, not even a picture, not even an image, not even an expression of someone or something I thought I knew; but didn't. (A Black Boot)
(North Beach Hotel) Power = self vitality and strength. Performance. Determination. Choice and choices. Struggle-struggling, fighting-attraction, physical-attractiveness. Physical counter-balance, physical difficulty. Intrigue and ability. (The Ring Belongs To Her)
(Waiting for the Cops) This is power to me: The will to life, to live to survive the will. To over-come the will, over-whelm the will. To charm the will, to enlist the will to invite and recruit the will. To elect the will to expand the will. To increase to grow and manipulate the will. To emanate the will by expanding the will to build: to capture, dominate, defeat and conquer the will. To reclaim the will to speak language. To generate, to buy, to own, read and write about the will to produce to fail. To succeed to disbelieve the will. To live to eat to die. To love the will to come and to go. The power of the will to be born to endure. Power to confront the will. Power is everything Christianity is not. Power as the enemy of Christianity. (Hand at Rest)
